Wednesday 18 November 2015
i'm still here.
I have been pretty absent haven't i?
I kinda want to get into uni right now, sooo yeah i actually do my college work.
Like wow, who would've thought?
I find things really distracting.
Since i got my new phone, i feel as if i'm addicted to it.
It's like you want to stop but your brain tells you not to.
I don't enjoy being addicted, as i dislike not being in control of things.
What happened to me lately? I feel as if i'm just a shell of who i was, im just kind of numb to everything. I don't say much anymore. I ruin everything.
It sounds deep but I feel as if i can write anything here.
I just don't feel like doing anything at all.
I don't even look forward to social events.
Today was different.
Today reminded me of Copland days, just plain good time.
How is it possible to love people and dislike them at the same time?
Why do i want to be left alone and talk with someone at the same time?
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You don't ruin everything. You really don't. You may feel like a shell of yourself, but I guess, that is just growing up, unfortunately. Change wears at even the most stubborn and hardest of hearts and people change. No, actually, people develop. It is hard being a young adult. Like children are just so blissfully unaware and innocent and they do not have to define who they are and know where they are going and they do not have to feel inadequate and then as you grow old, reality, bleats in... But I mean, experiences, even the bad ones are transformative. Life is so confusing. Like we learn all these stuff about
ReplyDeletesciences and there are answers and stuff, but life is so much more ambiguous than that. It will be alright though, at the other side