Since my mum is in Poland, I took the position of a manager in this house.
It's actually kind of fun as it will prepare me for when i move out. I had no idea there's so much to worry about in a single house and so much to take care of.

It's a valuable experience, plus i get to sing out loud HSM songs when I'm vacuuming.

I've also started to enjoy cooking, it's really satisfying to make something out of random ingredients.
I see it kinda as i see art. You get ingredients which would be various pencils, pens and paper and you make a masterpiece with it.

Peace out.

Crushed to death... with a heel.

How's my half-term going?
Honestly, it's already Friday and i haven't been out of the house much. Literally been out like 3-4 times for maximum 30 mins.

Trevor went NCS but she's back and i'm going to her showcase tomorrow, should be fun.
I'm kind anxious as i don't know anyone there and she's gonna have newly made friends around her and i'm just gonna stand there admiring the wall. Maybe i am just overthinking.

Without her i realised i don't go out much at all. It's weird.

I've completed like 2 games and binge-watched a show about a dance studio and all of the drama happening between the people in the team. I only watched the third season but i roughly caught on with what was happening, i didn't watch it for the drama.. i watched it for the dance sequences. I guess dance is my secret weakness, to be honest all art forms are amazing.

The other day i stayed up till late and went to brush my teeth at like 1:20am, so i was just inside the bathroom with the lights off as the street light outside the bathroom window gave enough light to see anything. I was just happily brushing and then i see a dark blob moving in the corner of my eye. I turned to the side where the bath tub was and it was still unclear what it was so i kinda leaned over the bath so take a closer look. It moved slightly and i nearly got a heart attack, with the toothbrush in one hand i raced to my room to get a torch.
I turned it on only to discover that there was a huge spider on the wall, my heart pounding and foam dripping from my mouth i had to think of a plan to get rid of it. It had thick dark brown legs and honestly i've never seen a spider like that ever before. It must've got in through the open window in the bathroom.
I was just thinking to myself: "It better not be some kind of jumping spider or i'm out of here"
 (I did some research and its common name is "Cupboard spider" or "false black widow", for those daring people go search 'Steatoda Grossa' in google. Fortunately it was a male, females are bigger.)

Anyway so i decided to take action, i had a big bottle of water in my room so i kinda poured it all over the spider so it goes down the drain, or at least doesn't come back up.

First 2 seconds of my plan went fine until the spider literally came back from the dead and climbed up the shower cable with it's fat yet swift legs. I was just freaking out as i did not expect it to do that. I just stood there and couldn't move, if only i had a shoe with me.. i couldn't go downstairs as my dad was sleeping so i had to grab my mums heels from the wardrobe which were the only shoes i could hope for.
I charged at it as quietly as i could and mercilessly murdered the bugger.
Then i was just whispering to its corpse: "yeah, that's right. I better not find your cousins in my room or the same fate will meet them. Understood?"
Keep in mind that i was still trembling from the adrenaline.


I am definitely the backbone of my family, i have courage flowing in my veins.

I left the dead body in the bathtub so i can show my little brother the size of it , he's really scared of spiders. It was fun telling him my heroic adventure in the morning.

Remember, fear can be overcome.

Peace out.

Unrequited Love.

Trevor is spending the entire week at NCS.. in Wales.
So i'm just stuck here doing my coursework...

That reminds me of a certain situation that took place nearly a year ago, like last late October/Early November.
so i went to NCS and to my dismay discovered that a certain someone is going too.
That threw me a bit off guard as i went to the same high school as the certain someone, and haven't seen him around a lot even tough he went to harrow on the hill during the 6 week induction.
both of us were transferred to the Weald Campus but he did a little earlier.

Trevor spoke to him more than i did so she kinda knew that he has a thing for me but i never really gave it much thought.
We went Wales together, we were on different teams but we saw each other more than enough.
I didn't know anyone there so i kinda stuck to him for the first couple of hours.
Basially one thing led to another and next thing i know is that he confessed to me over Whatsapp (A bit of an advice, never confess to anyone via text. Do it in person.)

Looking back at my Screenshots, it's so cringy. I can't believe a year has gone by. Basically I was really rude.
Want an example?

Pretty harsh, huh?

I have hurt his feelings and that's what i hate most about my 16 year old self, i was just insensitive to other people. 

It takes guts to post a screenshot of something like that on the internet.

Peace out.

Count your blessings.

I am truly blessed with the people in my life, I love you fellow reader.
I feel better now, grandma just needs to get her heart restored to normal functioning as her liver regenerating medicine has quite serious side-effects.
But all is better, and that's what counts.

When i feel sad i like to listen to sad music, i know Trevor does this too. I remember in year 11 when she really wasn't ok she used to listen to Florence and walk with her hair down and just avoided everyone.
What i found out from experience is that when you feel sad, it's worth spending time with people who make you feel happy and wanted. Don't retreat into your own bubble.

Peace out.

Deal with it.

It's always me that has to be strong, i hate to cry.
Lately i just have to force stop myself from bursting out in tears.
Every time i hear news about her or even someone mentions her in a conversation.
I just want to lock myself in a room and never come out again.
My biggest regret is not telling people how much they mean to me, it's just hard for me to show my feelings because I'm the sort of person that laughs at their brother's tears when watching Titanic.

Sometimes it's hard. Life is hard and we learn to deal with it.

Peace out.

To be honest..

I haven't been honest, by that i mean i haven't told you everything.
My grandma is in hospital, again.
Each doctor is saying something else.
It's either: 'Her condition is improving' or 'She has a few days left.'
Don't really know what i should do.
I never experienced death of someone close, i can already tell it's not going to be light.

Peace out.

obsesselfie. (i tried ok?)

I get called 'old-fashioned' because i don't take out my phone at every opportunity possible.
I've read this article/post a week ago and it's so true, people are so addicted to phones and technology it's mad. It's worth checking out: Link below
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/photographer_removes_smartphones_from_images_to_show_how_obsessed_we_are_wi

Just because i choose to actually have face to face interactions with people instead of staring at a screen for half of my life texting random bull crap or checking what other people are up to, i don't need that. To be honest the only thing i need my phone for is listening to music and answering calls from my mum (Yes, im that sad. Fight me about it.)
All im saying is that it's a bit stupid if you're sitting at a table with your friends and all of them are doing something on their phone. how sick is that? why don't you talk people?

Like, our generation is so freaking vain. The amount of selfies and just trying to look good for other people is too much for me. I will look shit if i want to look shit I don't give a crap if your eyes hurt from looking at me. The lack of interaction/communication together with this constant goal of achieving 'perfectness' is honestly distasteful.
This constant chase after the newest gadgets too, just because someone has an old phone he is perceived as lesser than anyone else? wake up people.

End of rant. Lol just needed to get this off my chest.

Holy Guacamole!

I feel as if avocados are a bit underrated, like have you ever eaten something better than an avocado? go on, i dare you to answer. *whispers* 'the answer is no'.

My phone crashed, my sim doesn't work. What even is life? On the other hand, less distraction but still.

Bumped into Paulina today, gave her a heart attack when i approached her from behind and rested my head on her shoulder. I need to return her the book i borrowed like last year.

Don't you just love smart people? like wow, i like that i can have an intelligent conversation with you but you can also be silly and that's great. I am just happy for their brains, you know?

Gotta pick up Peter's present from a post office 'office' (haha double office), because apparently the parcel is too large for our letter box. His birthday is on Saturday and there's going to be food.

I should be doing chemistry.
Just so you know, I hope all of your haters get a paper cut on their elbow because you're obviously an epic person.

Peace out peepz.

Untitled Post. jk, it's very titled.

Yes, this is my 4th post today, fight me about it! :D
I am so proud of Trevor, she has already got a conditional offer at one uni. 
Like wow, good for you famalam!

Good news: My grandma came home from the hospital today after like a week, i didn't write about it because it was sort of personal. Actually so personal I started crying on Thursday when listening to 'Afire Love by Ed Sheeran', like just on a bu crying quietly, I was just like get it together Agata Jeez. I don't know why but i started to think about her and I just can't cope with the thought i might loose her.
Screw personal, i'm so happy that i just had to mention it.
She's one of the most important people in my life, she practically raised me. 
Practically my role model, she's been through so mush crap in her life but she's a strong woman and i admire that.

Been listening to Twenty One Pilots lately; quality music, sick beats and top-notch lyrics.
Not everyone's taste, dislike some songs myself but worth a try.
Favourite Songs ATM:
-Stressed Out (one of my all time favourite songs actually, learned most of the lyrics and singing the fast part is so satisfying.)
-Forest
-Kitchen Sink (great for walking to college coz it's got sick beats init.)
-Lovely
-Be Concerned
-Car Radio
-Clear

I should probably get back to Chemistry. Coursework, ready or not here i come!
Peace out.

Confrontation.

Wednesday during Psychology coincidentally my last class that day, I had gained a new experience not a pleasant one.

We were inside the learning centre upstairs and we sit at circular tables, each work place is supplied with a docked computer. Our class took place in like a separated part, I sat with Sarah and as we were talking her face does this weird thing. Like her face does this 'Oh no you just didn't do that' look. And I turn around behind me where she was staring and this guy and girl start laughing to each other.

I ask her what happened. She just looked at me and said 'I saw a flash'. I was thinking: 'Nooo..'
She made that face again, and I quickly looked back and they both hid behind their screens.
Sarah said 'Another one.' I was just thinking, there is no way they took a photo of us TWICE.

I panicked a little, like I always joke about sneaky pics of people but being in a situation like this really made me think how odd it feels.
He just kinda hid behind his computer monitor and he placed the phone in a gap between the work desk and the bottom part of the computer. Why the hell would you have the flash on when you take a sneak pic of someone? People are dumb.
The people used to be in Sarah's class until she got transferred, so I knew they meant to take a photo of Sarah and not me. But for what?
We started to discuss with Sarah why the hell they might want our picture, and an unsettling conclusion sprang up.
You see, people jokingly call her a 'traitor' because she moved classes, but maybe the guy took the picture of Sarah in our class to show it to the others in his class. It's dumb but what else would be the motive. It's not like he likes Sarah, as the girl with him was his girlfriend.

Sarah was just so pissed off, she announced that she is going to speak to him after the class finishes.
I was like, Are you mad? What the hell are you going to tell him?

She went anyway, she even tried to drag me with her. I didn't know what was happening but I got kinda dizzy and everything was just blurry, my hands were shaking and my stomach was in a knot. Everyone was leaving and then Amelia asked if i was alright and I just didn't know how to explain it to her because it was the first time it happened to me.

Sarah came back after speaking to the girl and Apparently they were 'Face-timing' someone. Who the hell face-times when their back camera flash is on? Y u lyin for? We walked out and as soon as i got out into the fresh air i started to feel much better.

Peace out.

Incy Wincy Loner.

Lately I catch myself doing stuff when i am not supposed to, like i have got something more important to do but i still do something completely different.

My latest hobbies Include:

• Preparing orange juice and stirring it with a kids whisk. My mum walked into the kitchen and i was just making sure the concentration of the juice is even and I felt like a scientist, she gave me like a 'I am honestly used to your crap, so this does not surprise me' look.
• Coming up with ridiculous nicknames for Pawel, the situation where Peter only comes home on the weekends only gives me more time with experimenting and twisting the name 'Pawel', i love Polish for its flexibility, English can be boring when making up nicknames. 
• Decorating biscuits with homemade icing, 10:30pm on a school night. Managed to make a cat and a dog with 3D ears. Wish i took pictures.
• I started staring at spiders in my garden and even tough they are quite repulsive, its something about the loneliness and the lack of caught flies on their web that makes me feel sorry for them. I remember when i was in Year 7, back when i had a sad and lonely life. I had science in the morning and i used to come to school very early and just stare out of the window at a family of spiders. There was Parents and 2 tiny spiders, I always watched how the parents looked out for them and how they cared for them when they fed them mummified flies. Which kinda made me feel happy but even more lonely.  
• Singing old Rihanna songs like 'Please don't stop the music' or 'Shut up and drive' out of nowhere. Pawel and I sing duets together, it's pretty funny.
• Finding lost things. My mum lost her favourite t-shirt a while back, she thought that the strong winds we had must've blown away the shirt from the washing line in the garden. While around that time I lost my tablet, looked for it all over the house during a course of around 4 weeks. When i was cleaning my room I found both of them under my bed, The shirt and the tablet. Murphy's Law everyone, you find it when you stop looking for it.

So i was going to write another post about a weird situation at College, but i've gotta bounce. Will update in a few hours.

Peace out.

Dance with me, Odette.

I was watching 'Barbie and the pink shoes' with my little cousin.
In the story Barbie gets these pink ballet shoes from a woman who designs costumes and the shoes take her to a Ballet world, basically where all the ballet stories come to life.
Ballet plays like 'Giselle', 'Swan Lake', 'The nutcracker' and 'The snow queen' where mentioned there. What she did is that the shoes made her the main character of each ballet play.

I then did my research on Youtube and typed in different ballet names, some of them were as long as 2 hours. I have never seen anyone move so gracefully, like wow.
My favourite is definitely 'The nutcracker', ahh the costumes and the brilliant music.
It makes me really appreciate the classical music, I listen to it while studying but i was never into it.
Whereas the masterpieces written for ballet are so dynamic and so well composed, it's just a pleasure to listen to.
I never thought about the fact that ballet can portray a story without even saying anything. My next goal is to see ballet live.

Just something i found interest in.

Peace out.

Weird Dreams. Part 2?

So lately I have been having weird dreams, this always happens to e when i am stressed. But they have been getting quite interesting lately so i decided to make a note of at least one situation in a dream.

For example today i had a dream i was out with someone in a shopping centre and i bought a burger from a fast-food shop, I ate half way through and the meat was half-raw the people i was with tried to convince me it was the most delicious thing that the place has to offer. Like why? The dream compensated the raw burger with slides in the shopping centre, how cool would that be?

OK. So I have a detailed description of an odd dream I had literally a week ago.
Here's an extract from 'Agata's Journal of Peculiar dreams'.

Entry Titled: Beaver Trouble. 02/10/2015

I was in a car on my way to College, Amelia was driving and me and Christian were at the back of the car. (This is probably because I took the bus home with them on Friday) I was holding my coursework on my lap, ready to be given in to the teacher. Amelia suddenly takes a sharp turn and the car lands in a river, she continues to drive along it with surprisingly no one panicking about what just happened. "It's a short-cut" she explained. The car doors just suddenly disappear and when i look to my left there is just about 10 beavers swimming towards me. I start moving away when one of them drags me out of the car and the others bite my toes. Keep in mind that I am holding my coursework above the water so it doesn't get wet. When everyone processes what happened, Christian pulls me inside the car by the coursework papers. (Basically something Physically incorrect, something out of a cartoon :P). Amelia drives faster along the river faster so the beavers cannot reach us. We act as if nothing happened. Just before i woke up I say to the others: "I finally have something to blog about." Like these were my literal words.. What is wrong with me.. Haha. 

End of entry. 

 After i woke up i swear i still felt the beavers biting my toes.

Peace out.