Entry 4: Family matters.

I don't think I ever saw this coming, I'm really missing my family.
I miss that bunch of odd people that helped me shaped who I am today.
I miss the constant arguments over who showers first, I miss family meals the most.
I miss doing odd jobs around the house.
I miss shopping in Sainsbury's with my parents.
I miss family trips and outings.
I miss Peter's obnoxiously loud laugh (often heard when a very dry joke is being thrown around), I miss our conversations about things you hear about in the news, I miss our morning arguments while making breakfast.
I miss spending time with Pawel, I think i realised how much I missed him when I Skype called him one day. I remember feeling really upset and literally 10 minutes into the conversation I laughed so hard, I didn't even remember laughing like that since I came to Edinburgh. It's great when you have someone with whom you can be yourself.
I miss my mum and my dad, people I look up to. They have been through and achieved so much in their lifetime. They have taught me so much and I would not swap them for anyone in this world.
I aspire to be like them one day, I don't want to waste my life doing pointless things.
I want to make something of myself.
I feel really bad for not spending enough time with them before I left, it was such a busy time.. That of course can't be undone.
I can't wait to see them in December, I already know that I must make the most out of time I spend with them.

Peace out.
Cherish your family while you can.

Entry 3: My new home.

I think I came to terms that Edinburgh is my new home, I have accepted that this is where I will be living for the next 4 years. God knows what I'll be doing after I graduate it's too far into the future for me to actually think about now.

I have also come to terms that people will come and go,
"life doesn't stop for anybody".
I am fortunate enough to live with people that are a great deal of support, people I can always turn to with problems, people that I get along with. I imagine it's going to be even better the further the time goes into the year.

I always liked being independent, I always liked to be alone. I found this really good quote recently from a book completely forgot about, here it goes:

I don't know how much longer I can keep going without a friend. I used to be able to do it very easily, but that was before I knew what having a friend was like.

Stephen Chbowsky, The perks of being a wallflower.

Peace out.

P.s: Have you guys heard the new Passenger album?? It's definitely worth a listen.
I think this album is what gives me hope for the future, makes me feel at home.. does that sound weird?

Entry 2: Fairly Local.

At the moment I am experiencing the strangest feeling.

Most people have been through this, it's seeing traces of your old life in a new place.
Staring at empty walls, walls you're not familiar with.. yet this is your new home and there's nothing you can do about it.
Knowing that life will never be the same as the one you were leading up till now.
Having nothing but strangers around you.
I feel a little alienated when the only contact i have with loved ones is through the phone, not even being able to even touch them.

Don't tell me that things are fine, i don't feel fine.
Things will be okay eventually, i know that much.
Its just not okay at the moment.

Peace out.

Entry 1: Start of something new.

Starting your life over is never an easy thing, no one said it would be easy to adjust to completely different way of life.
Especially when you have to start over alone.
I'm currently studying Biomedical Science in Edinburgh, look how far i've come. I still remember writing blog posts after my little episodes of self hate and mental breakdowns because i thought i wont make it.
I am here today, i am here and it's not easy. But i know i will get through it.
Even if that means leaving people behind, even if that means leaving my life behind.
All of the memories are held dearly close to my heart, all those fantastic people i've met along the way will always mean the world to me.
Well, life moves on.
I'll meet even more people, make memories i didn't dream about before because everything is just ahead of me.
Uni is just the beginning.
Moving to a new country, being independent.
Geez, living on my own. I always awaited the moment, yet i never had the courage to actually work towards it. It's funny what life throws at you.
You just gotta keep on going, keep on swimming child.
This Friday, it's going to be 2 weeks that i've been living on my own.
This city is amazing, the architecture is beautiful and the history of this place is literally fascinating.
The landscapes..oh the nature.. the hills..i've always dreamt about living in a place like this.
Truth be told; there's quite no place like London.
That will always be my home, that will never change. It's where i grew as a person and you can never quite forget places that shaped you as a person.

Goodbye for now, or shall i say.. Peace out.