Interviews.

To celebrate my 40th post, I thought that I can start like a series.
This blog is basically funny/embarassing stories from my life.
What i have learnt and my advice on different topics or just updates on my everyday life.

I was doing my biology work, Mehwish had jokingly said to Me: 'Why don't you just do a report on Mariam and how she says 'twas instead of 'it was'?'
I just thought, that's not a stupid idea!

So I am going to post all kinds of things with interviews on top of that.
It just sounds like a fun idea, I am going to ask the people funny questions or just ask for the most embarassing things that have had happened to them and share them with you, fellow reader.

I am looking forward to that.

Peace out.

Hold your horses there, boy.

Today we went to Costa in the Greenford shopping centre and I had a delicious Hazlenut Latte. YUUUM. Instead of carrot cake I chose chocolate and caramel shortbread cake, yeah I know i can't eat chocolate and it wasn't the best option but DEAL WITH IT.

There was this baby sitting at a table next to us, the mother had her back to us but the baby kept staring. His face looked like he was chewing a sour lemon so i tried to make him laugh by showing him my weirdest faces until he laughed. This group of guys my age saw me and started laughing and pointing. Yup, I am the smoothest person you will ever see i am literally as smooth as my cactus 'Otto'.

Mum's been nagging me to start applying for jobs for my summer holidays, I think i might apply to work part time at that Costa because it's not really that busy and I like the atmosphere there, hope i don't run into people that i know.

Mum dragged me to T.K.Maxx and she told me to choose something nice, so i went over to the 'clearance' section and chose a Cowboy shirt as a joke but mum was like: 'ok, now try it on.'

And i was like, are you serious? But when i tried it on it didn't look half as bad. I actually like it. When my dad saw he picked up a hat that looked like this:

And he put it on my head, the three of us started to laugh.

Yeeee-Hawww!

Forever Alone.

My mum says that I scare boys away. I find it funny as it's very true.
I never had a boyfriend.
I had my first serious crush on a guy half way through year 10 and that continued till the end of Year 11. I never told him, he only person that knows who it was is Trevor. I told her like a month ago.

I do this thing where i tell myself to act cool in front of someone, it ends up being too cool and the person has literally no idea. I prefer it that way. I would much rather live with those emotions than telling him. It just ruins things.

I rejected a boy recently.
I think I hurt him, i really didn't want it to end that way. He was a cool friend but when i found out he likes me i didn't want to lead him on and give him false hopes. So if there are any male viewers out there: Don't ask a girl out over text, don't tell her how you feel about her over social media.
Go up to her face and get straight to the point.
Chances are she will appreciate it more if you don't behave like a coward.

I am just no good with relationships, I prefer it to stay that way.
Every teenage relationship ends up with a heart brake over silly stuff. I've seen that before. I think my generation just wants to grow up too quick.
You know when people tell me that they have had their first kiss at the age of 14 and I am just sitting there thinking the only people i get kisses from is my family.

It's a tough world up there, but you will find it much easier if you don't follow people around. Not being mainstream is a good thing, like i am no 'hipster' but you don't have to do things that you don't want to just to please people.
You don't have to do something you don't feel comfortable with just to 'fit in' and for people to 'accept' you.
Be yourself and real friends will come with time.

Peace out

My Fear.

I wanted to write this post for a while now but i never git round to actually writing it.

I am not scared of my own death or a spider crawling above my head.
I am not scared of clowns or watching horror films at night.
I am not scared of flying on a plane or heights.
I am not scared of rats or being attacked by an aggressive dog.
I am not scared of thunderstorms and i no longer fear the dark.

My worst fear is rejection.
Everything about feeling rejected, it's just unbearable.
I am scared of people pushing me away.
I am scared of loosing people.
I am scared of people just dumping me.
It happens, but i feel as if i can't bear it anymore.

I am scared that my grandparents will soon die, yeah dying is a natural process but i refuse to believe so.
I am scared of being left behind, looking ahead of me where people move on with their life.
I am scared of being forgotten.

Peace out, sorry for the depressing posts it had to be written up sooner or later.

Year 11

You know when you think you're close with someone, but you end up discovering it's just a one way thing?

Year 9 was a bit tough as i found out who my real friends are.
This was the year i got to know Trevor. And ditch PJ behind.

This was the year that quite frankly made an impact on my life.
PJ and me were close, like we were around each other practically all the time. But then when people asked her: 'Is Agata your best friend?'
She just replied with a straightforward 'No.'
I don't exactly remember what happened, I just remember me screaming at her during lunchtime in one of the corridors outside the science block, we had a major fallout over something that i can't even recall. That's how fragile our so called 'Friendship' was.
And nothing was the same from then onwards.

Practically from half way 9 to the end of Year 11 I have been lied to and taken advantage of.
Did she want attention? Maybe. She preyed on our empathy.
At the start of Year 11 I don't even know why she was hanging around with us, it was a rare occurrence but by the end of the year i despised her. And I didn't have the courage to say it to her face.
She has hurt me like nobody has done ever, she convinced me that i wasn't a good friend and I thought i was worthless. At one point I found myself reading a book about mental disorders and reading the symptoms, not only because I thought PJ has problems but at that moment i was convinced that i had problems too. She drove me crazy, The anger just transformed into sadness. The dark side of the force. There was a bridge like 3 minutes from my house, I thought if i just jump in it will all end.
I had to face her for about 2 years Yr 10-11 everyday at school.
She told me she is leaving the school, we cried we gave her leaving gifts but there was no way of getting rid of her. And at the end of the Year 11 I felt almost sad for how she is destroying herself and the people around her.

During around that time Trevor started behaving weirdly, like straight after the holidays, I remember the first week into Year 11 and I already noticed her moods, She isolated herself from everyone and wouldn't even talk to me. I felt hurt with this on top of what was happening, I won't go into details but lets say I wasn't the usual happy self.

Trevor began to wear her hair down that covered her face and would listen to music when she was around people. I felt really worried, but the thing that i couldn't stand is that she didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on.
She spent her lunchtimes in teachers offices and down in the mentoring department. She talked more to other people than she talked to me, and after Year 10 (best year of highschool) I felt confused to why she is doing this.
But that kinda helped me to talk to other people too. It wasn't all that bad, I am thankful for the people who have made my days brighter and actually made me laugh even when the last thing i was thinking about was smiling.
Year 11 had its ups and downs. But it prepared me for years to come.

I might post more on this topic, but i feel as if i had enough of thinking about it. It gives me a headache and reminds me of things i don't want to go back to.

Stay strong and Peace out.

Meh.

I've been putting aside so many things, it's just not funny anymore.
When i tell myself i have to do work, i just sit down and sketch.
I am annoyed with myself.
Like I want to do so many things and yet i end up doing so many other things.

I went to Gunnersbury park today and saw 3 male ducks attacking a female duck. It was just horrible, but no other duck was there to help her. I had to poke them with a stick so they can get off her and stop drowning her.

So much stuff I want to do, and i eventually don't end up doing.
Even now i am writing a blog post instead of doing college work, how pathetic am i?
I just don't see the point anymore.

I am scared of going to uni, I know i still have a year but at the beginning of next year i have to start applying. To be honest I just want to curl up in a fluffy blanket and never have to face the world again, live in my own little bubble. I hate the idea of having to grow up. Peter Pan, If you read this, take me to Neverland.

I love the people around me but sometimes I just need to breathe and be on my own.
I like to be in my own company, and Trevor is probably the only reason why i bother going outside my house during the weekend or days that i do not go college.

It's odd that i am writing this on here and my parents do not even know what's going through my head. But it makes me happier not bottling it all up. At least I can tell you.

Peace out.

Apple and Pears.

On Saturday me and Trevor went to an outdoor gym in a park in Wembley.

It was fun when we tried to figure out how things work and what you should do on them, Trevor decided we should jog but my legs felt like jelly so we ran like a few meters and walked the rest of the way back out of the park.

Went to the library and borrowed a few cool books that I am going to read on the journey to Poland, by car it's about like 21 hours so i have plenty of time to do so.

Bought Apple and pear tea with Trevor so we are like Tea Twins!
It's very nice by the way, and smells even better.
With me it's like, I don't even need to drink/eat something just let me smell it and I'm already full.

I've been practising singing in my garden, you know so nobody can hear me. I usually just stand behind the shed so my neighbours cannot see me.

I climbed Horsenden Hill with Trevor, took us less time than i expected I even showed Trevor where my house is she jokingly said that she will drop off letters herself straight to my letterbox. (Not sure that's a joke, she is quite creepy if you ask me.)

After that i got home by 3pm and we went to church for a film projection, It was fun. I sipped sugar-less tea during the film. Like tea without sugar is not tea! Especially not mint tea.

I learnt the difference between the 3 main Japanese alphabets, let's just say my brother isn't the best of teachers.

Trevor, if you're reading this we should go to the British library because the lady who is my mum's friend and works there told me that we can go see 'The Declaration of Independence' for free.
It's there till summer holidays so no rush, we have time.

Peace out.

Pink frosted doughnuts = Yummy.

I always thought that it's the big things that count in life.
But that's not entirely true.
Big things do not happen often whereas it's the little things during everyday life that really make up your life.

For example when someone mentions something you have told them a while back, and you're like; Wow, this person really listens to me.
Or if your stingy little brother shares his sweets with you.
Failing at playing the piano at church.
Climbing up a hill and coming back down in half an hour, then chilling on the swing and just talking about life with your best friend.
Eating a delicious doughnut after a week of not eating anything sweet.
Watching sunsets out of your bedroom window. 
You don't have to be rich, pretty or popular to be happy.

Be yourself and enjoy the little things in life.

Peace out.

Car chasing and more.

The weather cannot make up its mind, like in the morning it was freezing and now i'm considering going outside without a coat on.

Today i have met up with Trevor and she lost her purse on the bus, we had to go into every 92 bus we saw and ask if they have seen  a wallet and all of the people gave us a funny look when we were looking for it on the top deck.
She lost 2 College ID cards, 2! and she will have to get another one for £10.
We went to the bank and she blocked her debit card, just in case the person does not return the purse.

We managed to see her dad's car but he was nowhere in sight, so we popped into Primark to buy 3 fluffy blankets. As soon as we went out Trevor's dad just drives away before our eyes, Trevor proceeds to running after the car calling out 'Dad! Dad! Wait!' It looked so funny but i didn't laugh because it looked like one of those emotional scenes from a dramatic movie.

It's my brothers birthday today, as mentioned in a previous post I have given Pawel an open bag of skittles last year. This year I am getting more organised so I have spent some time and money on his gift. It's just a bunch of edible stuff. Things like a jar of Nutella, Apple Pop Tarts, Cadbury peanut brunch bars and lots of other stuff. I have a feeling he will be happy with the gift as he didn't have sweets for the whole week.
On Monday we are going to Costa and celebrating his birthday together with my dad's birthday, so I am going to look forward to that.
Roasted Hazelnut Cappuccino and Carrot Cake, Here I come!!

My cacti are making progress, The little one is growing so fast!

Eye to eye.

I struggle with eye-contact.
It sounds weird but i just cannot look a stranger in the eye. I always look down when passing by someone to avoid their glare.
Like I just think that eye contact is so special. When you look into someone’s eye you just know what is up with them.
Eyes communicate a lot of things that we don't even take into consideration, like just like facial expressions.
I don't know what it is with eye contact with strangers but i just don't like it, it's awkward for both of the people but think about it, your friends were strangers once too. So it's worth it to feel discomfort at first i guess.

It was always when i fancied someone i could not quite look them in the eye, have you realised? Like i don't know how it is with you but I just sort of look down and talk. It just looks kind of odd from a third person's point of view.

Today I posted 3 short posts as I am very sleepy and tired.
Tomorrow I will try to post something cool so stay tuned.

That reminds me, Vincent update: He is doing fine and he is in tune so i will post a video soon.

Peace out.

Time.

In my life I am either running out of time or have loads of spare time.
I hate the concept of time in general, What if there was no time?
Things would get a bit out of hand wouldn't they?
People would be disorganised and generally the world would be in chaos until someone invented time..
I just have random contemplations before bed so don't judge me.
Like when my mum says:' What time are you going to be home?'
Without thinking i say: ' Around 3.' And then i proceed to thinking, what if there was no time, would you be worried if i stayed longer?, would you even know that i stayed longer?. Like time is so cool and mysterious, literally everything we do we do it more or less looking at the hands of a watch.
Isn't that insane? Like the basic things we take for granted, they're just too much to even think about.

Nevermind me.

Peace out.

Survival of the fittest.

Have you ever thought about the basic things you need to survive?
Like for example say you are on a stranded island where your plane crashed, or you are running away from home: What do you take with you?
These are questions that pop into my mind when I’m bored.
I even made a list when i was 14 and wrote it down in my notebook so here we go.

What I need to survive:
(At the age of 14)
-Hand warmers
-Matches
-Spare clothes (warm clothes)
-Newspapers
-A rucksack
-Comb+deodrant
-Ear plugs
-A torch
-A towel (assuming i will be bathing in a river or something)

Literally that's all i have got for the list.
If you were running away from home and had to be very independent,
what would you bring with you?

Peace out.

P.S:My eye is itchy..

Sing Sing.

So there's going to be a European evening in our church on the 26th April, and I'm supposed to sing in a choir. If you know me you probably know that i cannot sing to save my life but I’ve been classified as 'Alto'. I checked it up online and it means i can sing up to the second highest contrapuntal musical texture. Whatever that means.
I have just come back from the first practice held at my church and let's just say it wasn't too bad.
Singing is something i'm not good at but i enjoy doing.
We will see how it turns out. There's going to be other churches too like French and Italian churches so I’m not at all worried if we flop.

Evenin' m'lady.

I love it when it's dark and you're just sitting in the garden reading a book, wearing a blanket and holding a small torch in one hand at the middle of the night.
Like half an hour ago i was in my garden blowing bubbles, i found my old giant bubble bottle in the garage next to my house and i decided to use them.
Me and my younger brother were just throwing a tennis ball to each other and failing miserably because we didn't see the ball probably in the dark.

I wanted to go for a walk but my mum said it's too cold outside.

Peace out and goodnight.

Cherry blossoms.

I don't quite know why i enjoy seeing the trees gain somes colour.
It makes me happy that summer is coming back, even tough in London it's probably
going to rain for most of the summer.
I have a confession: I always hated Summer, yup I've said it.
It was due to the fact I prefer Winter. Cuddling up in your bed, surrounded by blankets.
Drinking lemon and honey tea while reading a very gripping book is what i like best.
The idea of sweating and actually going outside of my house scares me.
Fortunately this has changed.
I love the warm summer breeze flowing through my hair during one of my bike journeys around the Polish country side, we do this every year and it usually takes up like a whole day, we visit some water springs and drink fresh water straight from the source.
Or going to the swimming pool with my cousins where we're allowed to jump into the water from a diving board.
The days are much longer so we roller skate at about 9pm nearby my grandma's house and take breaks for eating sunflower seeds.
Eating delicious ice-cream 24/7, and feeling sick of eating my grans home made waffles with whipped cream.
Playing football matches with my little cousins and purposely letting them win in the game.
But there are monster mosquitos that like to feast on my blood while i am peacefully at rest.
Getting sunburnt while swimming in a lake, at night I can literally feel my skin peeling off that's how much it hurts. I've got pale skin that does not mix with the sun even if i put sun lotion on before.
It also feels odd without my friends, like the only person i talk to in English is my younger brother.

That's all for now, peace out and make the most of the upcoming eate holidays!

Unsocial Media.

It's been sometime now that i have just given up on social media. I find it not social at all.
People isolate themselves just to chat to someone through a mobile phone or a laptop.
What happend to the traditional ways of communicating?
When you just sit there and stare at someones face and talk.
When you're texting you can't actually see someones face or see how they feel from the tone they're speaking, texting is a very emotionless form of communication.
I hope i'm not offending anyone that likes texting. I hate phone calls more, i feel anxious when i have to answer a calling phone. There are some exeptions tough, like answering a phone call from your mum or your best friend.
I just like sitting in someones presence, like we don't even have to talk much because the fact that the person is actually here with me is quite enough.

My little rant is over.
Peace out and have fun ACTUALLY talking to people.

My friend Mehwish.

So she totally didn't force me to write about her on my blog.
I joined her class when i got tranfsered to the other campus, that was like in October last year.
I was actually scared that i am going to be a loner because i'm pretty crap at making new friends.
But i settled down fine and i'm happy with who i ended up friends with.
Mehwish is a part of our group.
She's the kind of person you can mess around with but also have serious converstaions with, and i love people like that.
I enjoy conversations with her, and i stole her finger stickers and stuck them down on my calculator case. They look funny because they look like fingers that have faces on them, Obviously a korean invention.
She cares a lot about us, she doesn't even have to say it but i know she does. She says: 'I generally don't give two craps about anyone.'
I'm going to see Flying Lotus at a concert with her in May, which should be fun and i'm looking forward to it so Mehwish don't ask me if i still wanna go because you told me today that you already bought the tickets.
She gets me a plastic cup from the canteen when i ask her nicely and she just makes me smile whenever i see her.
She has like these weird sleeping patterns and she goes to sleep early and then wakes up in the middle of the night to do her work. She told me that the other night she had a dream that she was indode the college and a guy from our class tells her: "Mehwish, you smell."
And she answered to him: "You're right, I do smell."
When i told my family about this they were laughing for like 3 minutes.
She says 'Garbage' with this funny british accent, and whenever i sit in her seat i just say:"That's garbage, Mehwish".
She calls herself a 'loser' but i think she has the potential to be a 'winner' if she only believes in herself.
Ok, Mehwish you've had enough have you?

Reading.

I simply love reading and i swallowed a book in 3 hours yesterday.
I enjoyed myself. It's called 'Apple and Rain' by Sarah Crossan.
I really needed that book, and i recommend it to everyone.
Especially Trevor because she loves poetry.
Hope you're having fun with whatever you're doing.
Smile and Peace out.

Quick update: I just found out that Trevor has read the book by looking at her profile on google. Weird coincidence.. hah

Mothers day.

I got my mum a carrot cake and pistaccio nuts. She absolutely adores those nuts, haha. The gift were sort of last minute so i had to wrap them very quickly and sloppily and hand them to her. I also made a card with a jellyfish on it, she looked happy so I guess we've passed this years test.

The thing is that in Poland we celebrate mothers day on the 26th May (A day before my birthday, funny story really because i was supposed to be born on mothers day but they decided to keep me inside the womb for another day, so i was like a mothers day gift sort of.) Anyways, my mum expects us to celebrate on both of these days.

Anyway, Peace out.

Expression and Passion.

I think it's important in life that you can express yourself in your own way. Whether it's something creative like Dancing, Singing or painting or sports and computing.
Everyone has things they like to do. Maybe you collect shells or maybe you like to read.
It's important to do things in life that you enjoy doing.
I for example like to read, paint and collect notebooks. There's a lot of things i enjoy doing, yet i don't find the time to enjoy myself lately, i'm always in a rush. I do everything and nothing if that makes sense, if i write myself a checklist of things to do throughout the day, I will literally check off like one or two and do a million other things that weren't planned.
I'm going to be honest with you: I'm unorganised. Yup, i said it. I'm unorganised mentally, because i've got everything in place more or less, messy rooms do not count.
I just can't like process and force myself to do something.

Where was i going again?
Oh yeah, if you find yourself in a rush or feeling rather tired of the constant movement, just chill out and spend an hour on a hobby or something that you enjoy.
You're soon going to be relaxed and ready for the things and tasks ahead of you.

Expressing yourself helps unbottling things that you accumulate throughout the whole day or even the whole week. Feel angry? Paint or dance. Feel upset? Watch a good movie or listen to music.

I know painting has helped me a lot, just put up the volume on your ear phones and shut out the world around you for a little while.

Busy Bee.

Sorry, i haven't written in a while.. my weekend was rather busy.
I went over to Maya's house in Southapton, and we had a lot of fun.
Maya is an old friend of mine, we've been neighbours in Poland and now we go see each other in England, quite funny really.
Let's just say that stealing a green bike, my brother getting stuck and falling down on his face in slow motion and finding weird marbles in the forest were involved.
Pawel tried to jump over one of those things that stick from the ground and stops the car coming through, and the tip of it got stuck on his legs and he just lost his balance and fell faceforward, it was like one of them videos from 'epic fails of the week' but in real life, that had me and Maya sitting on the concrete floor laughing until my stomach muscles ache.
We went to a skate park and happened to see a green bike that had no apparent owner at the time so i dared Pawel to go on it and for Maya to video all of his stunts on her phone while i was the cheerleader just jumping all over the place.
That was that until a gang of kids in the age ranges from 8-12 came where we were and one said to an older one: 'oi, harry! sum one woz on yer bycke' and i was just giving Pawel the 'lets get out of here' look. At the exact moment Maya shouts:'oi mate, yoo brock me bycke' and i just looked at her not believing what i am seeing and performed the biggest face palm ever.. Pawel joined the argument and mocked their accent which was truly hilarious.
I quickened my walking pace. We ended up hiding in the bushes in the forest nearby and waited for them to go away, did i mention they had like BIKES?! like there was 3 of us and like 10 of them.. it was soo cool.
After like 10 minutes of walking around the forest we decided to go back on the swings. Fortunately they were all gone, the scariest part with little kids is the fact that they have older brothers and dads that would be ready to beat the crap out of us.
The bike was still there suprisingly, so Maya took out some of her plastic dog poop bags and we filled them with mud, tied them and put them on the frame of the bike. It geniuinely looked like real poop. Pulling pranks is risky but fun.

This kid that was about 6 went on a trampoline next to the swing i was laying on and he was just jumping and staring at me, so i figured he might be waiting for e to get off the swing.
I got off the swing and said to him: 'You can go on it if you want to.' to which he answered 'no, really it's fine.' which sounded so sweet and cute. He followed me to the skate park, well he was with his dad. I was demonstrating how to walk on the skate park walls to Pawel and he kinda copied and then it kind of turned into a fun competition. Unfortunately he had to go soon after but we waved at him and everything.

Towards the evening we gave up on swinging and walked home. This required us to walk past a dark forest type of park and there we found a cute cat. A fluffy white and ginger cat appeared out of nowhere, it had a cute little bell tied at its neck and i just had to stroke it. I ended up picking it up and catnaping it. I took a few steps while holding the cat but an old lady was staring at me so i figured she might be the owner, i let the cat go and it ran away into the shadows.
It was a pretty successful trip, well we were going to go to Lee-on-the-solent to grab coffee and drink it while watching the sea waves but if you live in England you know that the weather is literally unpredictable and it ended up raining and cold.
I didn't mind one bit.

Hope you had a good weekend.

Peace out.

I have no arms...

Today i went out shopping with my mum, we needed to buy a nice gift for my baby cousin in Poland.
We're actually going there in 2 weeks so there is not much time left. Can't wait till Easter holidays!
Anyway my point is that we ended up buy a ton of random stuff and we also managed to drag it all into McDonald's and have a break while eating McFlurry, my legs were literally killing me.
My mum has a cold yet she insists that she will have ice-cream so that i have some company. Needless to mention she was half coughing- half laughing when i pointed it out to her.
I got on a bus home with the massive bags and barely made it home. I don't even need to go to gym, I work out because my mum says so. (My arms fell off, I’m basically typing this with my tongue.)
I might have a teeny-weeny obsession with socks, I love socks and i know they love me back. It's like it's meant to be, you know they are just so understanding. They comfort me when my feet are cold, and all of those cute designs just drive me crazy (in a good way).

I just got out of the shower like 20 minutes ago, I was going to wash my hair but when i put the 'shampoo' on my hair it didn't lather properly and i realised after i got out of the shower that it was actually a hair conditioner, and it also turns out we've run out of shampoo.
Wait a second, while I’m typing this i just experienced the biggest deja-vu this week. It feels weird.
Just an inside of the stuff that happens to me everyday.

I was re-enacting dubstep with my mouth when i was sitting next to my brother and spat all over him and his desk. I have no regrets.

Peace out.

Neighbours.

Well, let's just say i never liked the idea of having a neighbour. Having a person that lives in the house right next to you.
It's different for every person;
Some people are just besties with their neighbours and there's some people (in this case me) who avoid any kind of contact with the neighbour.
I just don't have luck when it comes to this.
Since we moved into our house, the neighbours that share a wall with us (I live in a semi-detached house) have just been blasting out African Music at the most wild of times during the night. Like seriously, At frigging 3am they would have a house party; like 10 cars parked outside their driveway. Like a family reunion or something. That was mainly the reason i started sleeping with ear-plugs.
Whereas in the house on the other side used to live a girl a year younger than me. She taught me how to roller-skate and we had the best of times together.
I remember she had a giant piano in her living room and we always used to make up our own music then present it to our parents or play hide and seek for hours.
Yup, you guessed it. Her family moved away when i was 12 or 13, can't really remember because i went on holiday and when i came back there was no sign of her.
the house stayed empty for a good while until this family moved in.
A mother, two daughters and a son.
It's really nothing personal, but i just cannot face them. Like I’m shy or something.
I've just had several awkward encounters with them, that's all.
The only thing i like about them living there is the fact that the son can play the piano really well, he plays melodies from Star Wars which i find pretty cool. Sometimes I can hear him playing when I’m outside in my garden.
Is that creepy? I hope not.

Peace out.

Cry Baby.

We just moved to London when I was in year 5 (I was 9 years old at the time.
And I had been a month in England, only knowing the words: 'Santa', 'Dog and 'Ghost' in English which i have learnt at my nursery in Poland. 
I got assigned to a school quite close to my house, not knowing how to even communicate. A girl from another class in my year translated some things for me.
I was a loner, and everyone knew it. I used to sit on the bench during break time, looking at groups of friends laughing and talking amongst themselves.
I used to contemplate why is it exactly that i can't have a friend?
I was painfully shy at the time, didn't even say a word to people even when they asked questions.
I remember we had end of unit tests at the end of each week and i would just sit there and cry because i didn't understand a thing on the test.
I always had like a massive gulp stuck in my throat, and i was just hoping i do not break into tears at any point during the school day.

Primary school days are not the days i remember as 'fun', i hated going to that school.
That was until year 6, In year 6 I have found a friend group willing to put up with me and I became one of the best math students in the class and got sent to extra classes for the 'smartasses' of the class. That meant i missed English lessons, something about that made me happy as i didn’t have to make a fool out of myself in front of people.

I got sent to extra English sessions along with other students in a similar situation as me. Not long after I became the best reader in the class ( Bear in mind i hated reading with a passion at that stage in my life.) I jumped from a miserable Level 3 in reading to Level 12 in just around 3 months.
Somewhere half-way through the year I was in a position of a polish-english translator to new students.
Which felt great. It felt great accomplishing something and seeing how far i have come as a person.
Why am i writing this?
To show people that everything is possible if you only invest your time and effort into it.

Peace out.

My day in a nutshell.

Windows, Babies and Explosion & more.

I woke up with a headache at 6:20am as i have stayed up till late the previous night finishing off my school work. I hate procrastination, I hate being just plain lazy.

This continued throughout the whole day, it's like my brain is going to explode any minute now. It's as if a little hamster is blowing a balloon inside my skull and it's on the verge of bursting.

I had to pay 20p for an overdue book, that's why i hate libraries. Being a forgetful person does not help at all, Trevor calls me a goldfish for a reason. 

Today i was staring at a baby when i was waiting at the  bus stop, I realised today that i often stare at babies until they stare back at me. Then i proceed to the smiling mode, it's nice seeing the baby return the smile. In other cases the parent gives me like a: 'get away from my child, you creep' look. 

Don't you just hate when you're hanging out with someone and that person just decides to text on their phone ignoring your existence? Like, I mean if you'd rather be somewhere else, talking to someone else be my guest and go away i don't need you in my life. Like, I always wonder if the person A meets up with the person B (person they were texting while i was with person A), does Person A text Person C? It's like a never ending cycle! If you are with someone, spend time with them! Is it really that hard?

Today i touched a strangers hand on the bus by accident, i realised after like 2 seconds and the guy just stared at me as if he was confused, i don't blame him. No need to add that i got off 2 stops before i was actually going to get off.The dirty windows on the 182 are such a pain because i often just sleep on the bus home, i just lean my head on the window and listen to Chillstep or Foster the peoples new album it's very relaxing and soothing. But obviously having dirty windows means that i can't directly lean my head on the window, i have to put my hood up and then lean on it to avoid direct contact with it. I'm just aware of all of the bacteria that brushes off there everyday and i would rather not even think about it.

After i got home from college, my mum convinced me to help her with gardening. 
We went to B&Q on the Saturday (I think i mentioned that in one of the previous posts), mum bought a bunch of plants including Lavender, Thyme and plants with funky names that i do not remember the name of. And of course i had to convince my mum to buy me a cactus (mentioned previously), Well i had to put it into a larger flower pot and add some extra cactus soil so that it can grow big and strong (It's like my baby, Ok?). I have had fun filling up the pots with soil and sowing some flower seeds, apparently they germinate in 10-20 days so im looking forward to that. 

I need sleep ASAP, so peace out and have fun with whatever you're up to.

Don't hate, appreciate.

It's easy to take everything for granted.
For example things like clean water and food on the table. Electricity, just imagine how many teens would flip out if they did not have access to their smartphones. Well guess what? People in poor countries have none of that. They do not even have a bed for themselves or clean clothes to wear everyday. Child labour takes place when the family has debt to pay or if the parent cannot work physically.
In the UK we just get benefits.
How easy is it to live in London, where there's shops everywhere you look, where there is free education for every child. Some parents have to PAY for their child to get the most basic of educations. Whereas teens complain about waking up early or having to do homework after school.

It's also easy to take people for granted.
Recently a friend of mine lost a family member, and you know what she told me? She told me she took his existence for granted, she didn't even get the chance to say goodbye.
You never know, one day someone might die, someone might have to move houses somewhere far away  or even just stop talking to you for some reason.
Be sure to treat everyday with the people close to you as if it was the last day you see them.
And a question for you.. What were the last words you said to a parent or a sibling? Maybe even your best friend?
Do you ever regret saying something?
Treat people with respect and enjoy their presence.

It's important to surround yourself with people you want to be around, people that understand you. People that are not wasting your time. People who you can joke around with but at the same time have a serious conversation with.
I know that I need to appreciate people around me.
And one of those people is my best friend, sometimes i don't really treat her like a good friend does. Sometimes i just cannot express how important she is to me simply because i cannot find the words.
So Trevor, you are awesome and don't let people tell you otherwise.

Love you so much, you don't even know.

Favourite smells.

It's quite bizarre to talk about favourite smells.
I love smelling stuff, that sounds even more weird. I just do, OK?

Smells i fall in love with over and over again:

-Coffee
-Lemon and Honey Tea
-Tea Tree Oil
-Baby wipes (It's sentimental, and nothing to do with babies :D )
-Ink
-New book smell.
-Faint smell of cigarette smoke (not the 'in your face' type, the 'someones been smoking here in the morning and most of it is gone but there's like a teeny hint left' type)
-Pencil Shavings
-Straw
-The smell of winter in the air
-Autumn leaves
-The seaside smell
-The flower shop smell
-Strawberry ice-cream
-Funky Candles
-Coconuts
-Hyacinth smell (amazing!)
-Freshly cut wood (Kinda explains pencil shavings)

And for now, that's all i can think of.

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Friendship.

I've been re-reading 'LOTR- The Two Towers' again.
It's one of my favourite books to be honest.

I read it on the bus and label some of my favourite quotes with one of those coloured sticky bookmarks you get from Wilkinson.
The dialogue is truly hilarious and inspiring.

One of my favourite parts of the book is the portrayal of the relationship between Gimli and Legolas.

Dwarves and Elves have not exactly been nice towards each other, yet Gimli and Legolas join forces to help Frodo destroy the ring.

They come from diverse backgrounds yet they are sons of great warriors, Gimli son of Gloin is a Bearded short, not so pretty character, yet very snappy and witty. Whereas Legolas son of Thranduil is a clean cut, portrayed very pretty may i add in the movie (Blonde Orlando Bloom), Layed back and precise character.
I guess my point is, you don't have to be like someone for the person to be your friend, you don't have to behave like someone to be appealing, you don't have to have the same taste in music or fashion for someone to like you. Being yourself is enough, the key is to find someone that likes the differences between you two.
Did i word it right? I don't know. It sounded better when i was thinking of this post in the shower.

One of my favourite quotes:
(hand picked by me)

"But you are a dwarf, and dwarves are strange folk. I do not like this place, and i shall like it no more by the light of day. But you comfort me, Gimli, and I am glad to have you standing nigh with your stout legs and your hard axe. I wish there were more of your kin among us."   -Legolas

 There's more but i might leave it for future posts.

Also i could not help but realise there's a few of you from outside the UK, come and say Hi if you wish. I don't bite.
Have questions or just want to chat? Don't be shy, consider me as an old friend of yours.
Message me at: agataandrus1998@gmail.com

General update on my life.

Hey, kinda neglected this blog huh?
Well lately i just didn’t have the motivation.
No motivation for life in general.

Saturday 7th March
Went out with Trevor and the whole peppergrinder family.
I guess i needed that trip, it took out the stress from my daily life. Even tough only for a little while, but sometimes 'a little' is enough.
After that i went to B&Q and bought a cactus, it does not have a name yet so I'm open for some original suggestions.
I went to sleep at 8pm because i felt really dizzy and sick.
Dreamt of being in a boarding school. It was weird as i dreamt that all of my friends turned against me..They weren't my real life friends, just dream friends but it's quite depressing but i have no control over my dreams.

Sunday 8th March
Learning the ukulele is not as simple as you think.
The strumming patterns are actually fun to learn but changing chords accordingly is harder.
So the video post will take a longer while.
I'm currently learning a song by Bruno Mars - 'You can count on me'.
When i first heard it, I was like: "This is so cheesy, but i like it."

Monday 9th March
I realised that there's a lot of things that i keep to myself. It's so confusing being an introvert and an extrovert at the same time. I do not like discussing my feelings. I do not like showing my feelings. I don't even cry during sad scenes in films! I seriously don't know why, sometimes it's just more comfortable for me.

I have been also listening to Foster the peoples new album 'Supermodel'.
To tell you the truth it's a beautiful album. Not for everyone’s taste but surely for my taste.

Well see ya.