detached.

i can feel it coming back, its gradually making itself known.

therefore im trying to keep myself busy.

sorting out my room is enough for me to take my mind off things, there's a lot to do.

therefore i turn my wifi off and turn the music on.

i am carried away.

peace out.

Bob and Trevah.

I cannot put into words how much i love this girl.
You were there for me when no one was, you have seen it all and you're still putting up with me.
You appreciate me, you fully accept me.
You are one of my favourite human beings, you're inspiring.
You're the custard to my doughnut.

Even if i don't see you as often as i used to i feel as if nothing has changed, we're still close.
I can literally tell everything and i love that.
I am always here to listen to you, you can tell me your worries. We will get through this together.

Peace out.

Surviving Christmas, part 2.

I've spent my day at a family friend's house, it was a time well spent.

Not that I'm complaining or anything but i just don't have time for myself anymore.
I can't remember the last time i drew something, i can't remember the last time i actually finished a book.

I kinda knew that this year is not going to be as Christmassy as last year, i think it was because everything was so last minute. Christmas tree was put up literally a few days ago and i did my shopping like on the 23rd. I guess Christmas feels nicer when you wait impatiently for it, when you're excited for it. I just didn't feel that this year, which is pretty sad.

The last few days were truly fantastic but today i felt just meh.

Being social is so mentally draining, like i almost put a cup with a teabag in a microwave in order to make tea.

How is it that even though you see so many people you feel so detached, so out of place.

Overall my Christmas has been a neutral experience. Let's hope next year is better.

Peace out.

Surviving Christmas.

The morning was amazing.
Christmas Eve is always my fave.
I've been happy for the whole day, well most of it.

As soon as i get into bed it hits me.
I thought i can be happy for once, it lasted for quite a while.
it's coming back, it comes in waves attacking by surprise.
not as strong as before, i'm relieved.
I'm not going to let it get to me, this war is approaching its end.

And I have a feeling i'm winning.

Peace out.

happy days.

My grandma is back in hospital, i think it's like a check up thing.
So i'm not really worried.

Life has been so much better lately.

I get on well with my younger brother, like better than ever before.
I am better at managing my time.
I am just seeing so many people during the holidays, it's crazy.
Some dork likes me back, honestly still hasn't hit me like wuuut?
I went to see the new Star wars and it was amazing.
I am so thankful for my friends.
I am just happier overall.

Just in other words, life's good.

i hope your life is good too, peace out.
 

Dorky Convo Memos.

i have been meaning to post this for a while now.

I do this thing where I write down some conversations i have with my brothers on my phone, here's the result:

December 12th 4:07 PM
*conversation about coat colours*
Pawel: Im olive.
Me: Im navy blue.
Peter: Navy blue? more like baby blue.
Me: *whispers to Pawel* oh snap, he went there

December 13th 5:00 PM
*hanging out with Pawel in his room*
Me: You smell like a carrot.
Pawel: *overexaggerated facepalm*

December 19th 10:47 AM
*on the train*
Pawel: I can't yawn.
Me: Do you know why?
Pawel: Why?
Me: Coz UR a LOser *get REKT m8*

Okay, that's it.

peace out.

Excuses.

I haven't been posting regularly, this is because i don't think anything is good enough to be a blog post.
I kinda write mental blog posts, when i walk to college or i am on the bus.
This idea develops and i word and reword it in my brain until it makes sense and just reflects everything i mean by the statement.
Sometimes i leave myself little reminders on my phone with keywords, but all that gets lost as i delete it. It's simply not good enough.

Hope you like the little posts once in a while, i wish i could be there for you.

Peace out.

Life's a book and that.

I was just thinking about stuff a while ago.

It's so weird, like life is a very long and exciting novel.
It's narrated from your point of view, therefore you're the lead character.
There's many side characters like your family or close friends, they're there in the story but they don't quite know the details of the whole picture.
There's also all these background characters you pass each day; the shop keepers, your teachers or bus drivers.

But then you come to realise that each of these background characters is the lead character of their own novel, and you're in fact a background or side character in their story.
Isn't that something to think about.

You can't always help being a passerby in someones story but it is your duty to make your novel as good as it has a potential to be.

Peace out.