Don't worry I'm alive. I haven't been posting for a while, but honestly my thoughts are all over the place.
I am just a shaky mess, my heart is beating unbelievably hard against my rib cage to the point it hurts a little.
I wish i could explain everything. I just don't seem to find the right words.
Why do i do this to myself? why do i push people away?
I forcing myself to believe people are better off without me, that i'm simply a bore and that i am not needed.
Wonder why i don't write back to texts or answer your calls? It's not that i don't want to talk, it's actually the opposite. I just, things just pile up and i shut myself out. I don't want anyone to feel obliged to sink down with me, i don't want sympathy, I don't want to worry you.
i'm so sorry.
Peace out.
My first comment did not post, I don't think. I can't see it. :( You most certainly are not boring. You make my life interesting. I need you and I would most definitely not be better of without you. You make me happy. We are hideous monsters together. Hahahahaha. :)
ReplyDeletePeople love you Bob. Hahahaha do not be suprised. You do not meet a person and treat them like crap without knowing them. You're a creative brave free spirited hippee who stalks people and you're ridiculously weird and funny.
I will always be here for you forever. I will alway be on your side. Hahahahaha just do not get sent down for computer stealing.
Do not feel as if people are sunk down with you. You just.give people the opportunity to be awesome as well. :p Trust me. You aren't that bad.
I am here if you want to talk. You do not have too. I mean I know that feeling where you want to say something and you should but the words just do not want to form sentences. You may not feel like what you are going through is important but every single thing when it comes to you is important. I would drop most things for you... I say most because if l am ever lucky enough to bump into 1) Matt Smith 2) David Tennant 3) Florence Welch 4) Alex Kingston 5) Mr Hill then you are by yourself. :p Hahahahaha but that is unlikely.
You could write me a letter?
It is weird. That is how I feel when I feel bad. Like I really do not want to drag people down with me. I do.not like talking about stuff as I fear I will make the mood depressive and like people would just rather avoid me. However, talking about things and expressing yourself is important. For a lot of high school you had to deal with Sumera's feelings and mines and you were always like tough and I think trying to be intact.
Love you. Hahahaha I really do.