It was long overdue that i download the Lilo & Stitch soundtrack, i finally remembered to do it.
I do not regret anything.

It just gives me life :D i can't really explain it, i just love everything about it.

Look at me doing coursework so early into my half-term, need to type up the last question for chemistry and i'm done for today.

Peace out.

p.s: my parents signed me up for gym, im so excited for tomorrow morning! i'm going with my younger brother, he's going to be my gym buddy. My parents can thank me later for getting him out of bed before 8am.

27/05/1998

So i just turned 18.
It's funny because i remember writing a post about being 16 or so and back then i thought i figured everything out.
Well i was wrong.
I have changed, i have developed as a person and i have pretty much very little actually figured out.
I don't mind to be honest.
The future scares me slightly less these days, like i told myself : "whatever will be, will be."
I am looked after, i have people to trust and lean on when in need, I'm not alone.
Life will bw fine, i will eventually see where i am going.


My mum woke me up today just before 10am and started talking about how i was born and how i was as a baby and even though i heard the stories a million times before, this time it was different. She mentioned details she hasn't told me before.
Like the fact i had to be taken out 2 weeks before the due date as her blood pressure was really high or she told me about the time they took me home from hospital and in the morning they thought i was dead as i didn't cry when i woke up. (i rarely cried as a baby which was a great contrast to my older brother).

Dunno that was random.
I am pregnant with my birthday cake, i has so many sweet things to eat it's sickening.

Peace out.

I'm guessing it's been long enough, I'm sorry. I tried to update a few times but each time I actually wrote something down my finger hoovered over the backspace button and soon enough the post was blank.

I thought that would be the case with this but its not.
I forgot how much blogging means to me. My audience is not large, to tell you the truth it was never meant to be in the first place.
Yet seeing other people read my posts (or shall I say life fails) makes me feel happy, I have let you guys down.

I just wish everything was over and I could get some peace. I can't wait for summer holidays, no more stress.

I have missed updating you on little funny things that happen to me during the day, I promise to update you. I promise to write at least twice a week (at least during this final stage of college) obviously during the summer holidays im gonna have more time which means more time for going out and more time for writing about it.

As for now I just need to destress a bit, it's bloody hard when all you wanna do is cry but I'll try my best.

Peace out.

Throughout this half term I spent more than enough time hanging out with my younger brother.
I accepted the fact he's as annoying as ever, yet I think he's one of the few people I can do weird crap infront of and not be judged.
Let's just say that I'm never bored around him.

As he's growing up I can really see myself in the way he acts and thinks, I'm really glad he's reached a point where he tries to be a better person and just overall matures.

Peace out.

I love the smell of burnt matches.
It reminds me of burning wood at a campfire, like this summer at the beach at night.
It reminds me of burning leaves after autumn in Poland, in always used to just sit with my grandad and we would watch the flames engulf the crinkling leaves.
It reminds me of all of the BBQs we used to have in summer with the family or just family friends.
It reminds me of burning notebook pages in my garden.

9:30pm
Mum's coat over my pjs
Wellies on feet
Hair down
Earphones in
walking under the night sky in the streetlight
Jumping in puddles
Twirling on the empty streets
Cats in window
Foxes in alleyways
Smile on my face

I don't like posting depressing things onto this blog, whenever I write a post like that I just delete it instead of actually publishing it.
You know one of the worst feelings in the world?
Losing interest in something you once enjoyed doing.. Honestly I don't know whats wrong with me lately, I recently got back into reading books but it takes me more time to finish a book as I just don't pick it up after putting it down. I just sit and stare at it.
Another thing, art in general. Art was always something I turned to, what am I without it? Its not that I don't like it anymore, it's like my body can't be bothered ..
Artist block is torture, it's a feeling where you really want to do something but you're physically/mentally unable to do it. It doesn't comes out right or you just stare at a blank piece of paper until you decide you've had enough.
I'm gonna go sleep..
It takes me ages to fall asleep lately, it's not good. I need to fix that.

Peace out.