Forever Alone.

My mum says that I scare boys away. I find it funny as it's very true.
I never had a boyfriend.
I had my first serious crush on a guy half way through year 10 and that continued till the end of Year 11. I never told him, he only person that knows who it was is Trevor. I told her like a month ago.

I do this thing where i tell myself to act cool in front of someone, it ends up being too cool and the person has literally no idea. I prefer it that way. I would much rather live with those emotions than telling him. It just ruins things.

I rejected a boy recently.
I think I hurt him, i really didn't want it to end that way. He was a cool friend but when i found out he likes me i didn't want to lead him on and give him false hopes. So if there are any male viewers out there: Don't ask a girl out over text, don't tell her how you feel about her over social media.
Go up to her face and get straight to the point.
Chances are she will appreciate it more if you don't behave like a coward.

I am just no good with relationships, I prefer it to stay that way.
Every teenage relationship ends up with a heart brake over silly stuff. I've seen that before. I think my generation just wants to grow up too quick.
You know when people tell me that they have had their first kiss at the age of 14 and I am just sitting there thinking the only people i get kisses from is my family.

It's a tough world up there, but you will find it much easier if you don't follow people around. Not being mainstream is a good thing, like i am no 'hipster' but you don't have to do things that you don't want to just to please people.
You don't have to do something you don't feel comfortable with just to 'fit in' and for people to 'accept' you.
Be yourself and real friends will come with time.

Peace out