Year 11

You know when you think you're close with someone, but you end up discovering it's just a one way thing?

Year 9 was a bit tough as i found out who my real friends are.
This was the year i got to know Trevor. And ditch PJ behind.

This was the year that quite frankly made an impact on my life.
PJ and me were close, like we were around each other practically all the time. But then when people asked her: 'Is Agata your best friend?'
She just replied with a straightforward 'No.'
I don't exactly remember what happened, I just remember me screaming at her during lunchtime in one of the corridors outside the science block, we had a major fallout over something that i can't even recall. That's how fragile our so called 'Friendship' was.
And nothing was the same from then onwards.

Practically from half way 9 to the end of Year 11 I have been lied to and taken advantage of.
Did she want attention? Maybe. She preyed on our empathy.
At the start of Year 11 I don't even know why she was hanging around with us, it was a rare occurrence but by the end of the year i despised her. And I didn't have the courage to say it to her face.
She has hurt me like nobody has done ever, she convinced me that i wasn't a good friend and I thought i was worthless. At one point I found myself reading a book about mental disorders and reading the symptoms, not only because I thought PJ has problems but at that moment i was convinced that i had problems too. She drove me crazy, The anger just transformed into sadness. The dark side of the force. There was a bridge like 3 minutes from my house, I thought if i just jump in it will all end.
I had to face her for about 2 years Yr 10-11 everyday at school.
She told me she is leaving the school, we cried we gave her leaving gifts but there was no way of getting rid of her. And at the end of the Year 11 I felt almost sad for how she is destroying herself and the people around her.

During around that time Trevor started behaving weirdly, like straight after the holidays, I remember the first week into Year 11 and I already noticed her moods, She isolated herself from everyone and wouldn't even talk to me. I felt hurt with this on top of what was happening, I won't go into details but lets say I wasn't the usual happy self.

Trevor began to wear her hair down that covered her face and would listen to music when she was around people. I felt really worried, but the thing that i couldn't stand is that she didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on.
She spent her lunchtimes in teachers offices and down in the mentoring department. She talked more to other people than she talked to me, and after Year 10 (best year of highschool) I felt confused to why she is doing this.
But that kinda helped me to talk to other people too. It wasn't all that bad, I am thankful for the people who have made my days brighter and actually made me laugh even when the last thing i was thinking about was smiling.
Year 11 had its ups and downs. But it prepared me for years to come.

I might post more on this topic, but i feel as if i had enough of thinking about it. It gives me a headache and reminds me of things i don't want to go back to.

Stay strong and Peace out.